I remember watching an episode of "Everybody loves Raymond" where one of the kids has to draw a picture of their family for school and all the classmates draw pictures of happy families gathered around a table or frolicking through a meadow but Ray's kid draws a picture of a mom and a dad screaming at each other. It was so hysterical, but it makes you wonder how your kids really view you.
Yesterday Sam and I went down to get the mail and he asked, "why don't I ever get any mail?" So I suggested to him to draw a picture and we'll send a letter to my best friend's daughter who lives in Ohio and ask her to be his pen pal that way he can get some mail. So we sit down and as he draws a picture of dinosaurs he begins to dictate what I should write. Hi, my name is Sam, I am five - that sort of thing. So I suggest he tell a little bit about his family. "My baby sister steals my toys. My daddy plays golf. And my mommy chops things."
My mommy chops things? Um, that's a little creepy, like chops up dead bodies and stores them in the freezer? I gently suggest we say something like, "my mommy is the best. She tells me elaborate stories with different voices for each character and she bakes muffins in the shape of dinosaurs." But no, he insists on the chopping comment. Is it because I chopped up vegetables for dinner? I want some kind of explanation, but he's too busy with his picture. Hmm, I think, he doesn't know how to read....
"Hey mommy, why are you writing so much? That's not what I said, is it?"